also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
