Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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