also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize