If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
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We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
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It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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