We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
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also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
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but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
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