i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
