i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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