Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
