So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
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