i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
