Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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