yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
