i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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