have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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