Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
40s are totally the cure
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
