I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
