i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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