you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
