o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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