i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
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