the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize