did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
