i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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