She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Randomize
