you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Randomize
