Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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