I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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