I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
