K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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