jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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