I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize