The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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