He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
