What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize