Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
When are your genitals available?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize