apparently the secret to your success is patron
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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