Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
