I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
