Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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