Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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