susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
