i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
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She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
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Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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