Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
