He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
