She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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