I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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