This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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