saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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