I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize