it wasn't lemon gatorade
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
