you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize