Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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