Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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