Im at strip club and am horny
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
