I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
