Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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