you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
there is glitter all over my balls
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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