I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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