wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
